"Starving"

Throughout the adoption God cleaned house in my heart. He brought to the surface many ideas and beliefs that I held dear and He showed me how they were keeping me from hearing Him...here's some thoughts on hunger - spiritual hunger...


People in Haiti and around the world hunger and thirst daily. Have I ever really hungered? Do I really understand where they are coming from?

Why Lord Why? Over the years, I had let my possessions and my love for THINGS satisfy my hunger and thirst for you. I see clearly how I have been satisfied by this world and the things in it.

Until I went to Haiti in Feb. 07, I hadn’t felt spiritual hunger pains in years. My spiritual thirst had been quenched by the routine of going to church. I was always there when the doors were open. For several years, I felt even better when I was the one with the key who was doing the unlocking.

Using my teaching skills, to lead the children's ministry was my way of proving to you, God, that I could obey. I could avoid the “guilty” feelings of “skipping church” if I was there all the time. I learning that You are not the author of my guilty thinking. I see now how You want to be my entire meal and my refreshment too. As I would drive out of the parking lot after church I remember that I felt so empty.

In Haiti, our church has no doors. It has no fancy air conditioning system or anything else that could break down and be a reason for keeping the people from coming. When they hear others are there, they are too. As I have observed, no one has to be “doing church” for people to be at the church in Haiti. People just gather there...

God help me to just gather at your feet today.