Haiti's Song...

April 7, 2009
I'm in tears. God has blessed me with two new dear friends through this adoption. One is a family who brought their son home in Sept. 08. She has been there for me so much - just to say, "I know, I've been there." They waited 3 years. Their family has become a sounding board for us. I praise God for leading us to them. It is rare to find someone with the same passions that we have! Haiti is the greatest place and few understand. The other friend is waiting for the day when she can bring her TWO children home...

As I write I'm listening to the radio and You Raise Me Up is on. To our family this is Haiti's Song because my cousin went in 2006 and took gobs of pictures and made a video to promote the orphanage in churches. She used this song. I can tell when God sending encouragement my way - this song comes on the radio. It came on just as I began to write.

Through adoption God has shown me areas in my heart that He knew weren't His. I've learned that if I was going to live with him He has to have ALL of my heart. He's been faithful to bring us through all of it and bring Michael and me closer together.

I didn't think that I would ever say "Yes - i'd do it all again" but I'm beginning to feel that way. That's crazy because yesterday was really, really hard. I started having all kinds of paranoid thoughts and was fighting discouragement all the way. God was faithful to send us good news last night. I know about being awake and praying. Many nights I fall asleep whispering prayers.

When we decided to adopt, I thought it was just that. Adoption. Bring a little boy into our home and love him. i had no idea how God was going to work in us. It was like he said, ok i'm cleaning house. I have always struggled with depression, but didn't know why. I never said anything because I felt crazy. I was a 2 year missionary when I graduated from college. I met my husband on the mission field and off we went to medical school. The stress of that is enough to drive someone insane. For years, I continued to struggle with depression and live in a fog. I covered it up so well though!!! No one would have ever known that "something was wrong with me". Through the adoption God has set me free.

To say I'd do it all again is profound for me. I try to avoid the unpredictable. I'm free now. One day the fog lifted and I could see that Satan really had a stronghold on me.

I write that to say that God is certainly good, and I am standing in the need of prayer. God is teaching me to ask for prayer.

My devotion that I read after writing these thoughts...

April 7, 2009
God's Purpose for Intimacy
Psalm 25:12-14
For most of my life, I believed that the heavenly Father and I shared a relationship for my benefit. However, His primary purpose for creating intimacy with believers is to reveal Himself.
In a genuinely loving relationship, each person wants to know more about the other. As believers, we're sometimes guilty of taking a more self-interested approach and forget that God is the rightful center of attention. Instead, we head to church or into quiet time looking for something to inspire us, motivate us, or help us.
Part of the problem is that we would like to practice our faith in the safest way possible. Bible study, prayer, and church are relatively easy, compared to stepping out in faith or enduring persecution. But to know God intimately is not a purely intellectual pursuit. A truth about the Lord is not truly ours until He works it into our daily life.
Our Father wants His children to understand how He operates. The only way to gain that knowledge is by allowing God to unveil Himself in our life experiences. That means we must be willing to go through difficulty and pain as well as happiness and peace. A man can read that the Holy Spirit is the believer's Comforter, but he does not know this truth until he has need of solace.
The Christian life is not about feeling good and deriving the greatest personal benefit from our connection to God. Rather, the Lord builds an intimate relationship with each of His followers. In that way, He can reveal more about Himself--truth by truth--as a believer needs that knowledge. What a privilege!
AGAIN GOD!!!

The storms of life are much the same. Trials, pain, difficult circumstances and hard times are here to stay. We cannot stop the occurrence of storms but we can change our response to those storms. With every storm comes the opportunity to trust God and see faith grow. Every storm holds the promise of hope. Now, if you are like me, when the storm hits, my natural first response is a fervent plea for deliverance. Every day, things happen that are beyond my understanding and out of my control. I often turn to God and ask, "Why?" What I really want to know is why me, why this, why now?
That is where faith comes in. Faith is a natural by-product of trust and follows the choice to believe God no matter what! He wants us to trust Him wholly, even when we do not understand and cannot explain the stormy circumstances swirling around us. When absolutely nothing makes sense and everything seems completely wrong He asks us to trust Him.
Oh, it is easy to sing praises when the seas are calm and the boat is still, but the strength of our faith is justly measured in the midst of the raging storm. A job is lost -- a marriage is destroyed -- a child has strayed -- a dream has died. It is in those bleak, seemingly hopeless moments that the value and depth of our faith is computed. It is because of the cross and the price Jesus Christ paid there -- for you and for me -- that we can withstand any storm because of God. Our hope is in Him. Our gaze is on Him and our glance is on the circumstances.

A crisis always reveals what is really inside. What life does to us depends on what life finds in us. Anything -- any trial or pain -- that drives us to God can be counted as a blessing. Faith sees the storm as a chance for God to work in a new way. Faith sees the darkness as an opportunity for His light to shine brighter. Faith sees pain as an opportunity for God to comfort and encourage His precious child.

The next time the storm churns around you, step out of that rocking boat and walk by faith toward your waiting God. He is alive!

Let's Pray
Lord, I celebrate the fact that You are alive and well! At times, my faith seems so small that Your presence and power seem far away. I confess that when a storm hits my first thought is to find a way out. Please help me to remember what You did on the cross and what You accomplished when You rose from the grave. Please give me the faith to walk through my fear to You, trusting You alone. Help me to learn the lesson of the storm and live in the shadow of the cross.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
THANK YOU LORD FOR YOUR FAITHFULNESS!
Girlfriends In God